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The Predator meets his match - Beware of the Train [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
pozorvlak

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The Predator meets his match [Feb. 9th, 2006|01:45 pm]
pozorvlak
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[music |DJ Shadow - Endtroducing]

You know all those X vs Predator comics? You know how (with the possible exception of the original Alien vs Predator) they're all exactly the same? I think the Predator ought to test himself against a real opponent, one who could offer more of a challenge than mere musculature. That's right, I'm talking about Jeeves vs Predator.
...
"I find in cases like these it is necessary to consider the psychology of the individual, sir. It has been my experience that a passion for the hunting field experienced as a youth is often much diminished on entering into a state of marriage."
The old bean swum somewhat, but I grasped the point.
"You mean like my Aunt Dahlia? A fixture with the Quorn and Pytchley in her younger days, but put aside childish things when she married Uncle Tom?"
"Precisely, sir. The only difficulty lay in finding a suitable choice of mate."
"Egad, Jeeves! You don't mean - "
"If you would care to look at this morning's Times, sir..."
I grabbed for the periodical. It took me a while to spot the relevant piece, but there it was:
Engagements: The engagement is announced between Miss Honoria Glossop, only daughter of Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop, and Honoured Y'ghloushgdk of the Yautja, Duke of the Outer Planets, Commander of the Betelgeusian Fleet, etc, etc.
"Good Lord, Jeeves! Honoria Glossop's engaged to the Predator?"
"Precisely, sir. Given his extensive connections among the Yautja aristocracy, there was little difficulty in persuading Sir Roderick and Lady Glossop to give their consent to the match. If I might be permitted the expression, sir, they are not so much losing a daughter as gaining a horribly beweaponed homicidal alien killing machine."
"Sounds like he'll fit right in at Glossop family get-togethers. But what's this about aristocratic connections, Jeeves?"
"I was eventually able to translate the book we recovered from His Grace's spacecraft, sir. It was not, as you supposed, a flight manual, but rather the Yautja version of Debrett's. His Grace's entry ran to fully eleven pages, sir."
"Good Lord. And what does the Pred - His Grace think of all this?"
"I believe His Grace had little say in the matter, sir; as you have had cause to observe, Miss Glossop has a somewhat forceful personality."
I sighed. It was a wrench, but dash it, the fellow had just saved half of London from grisly annihilation.
"Jeeves?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Those vermillion silk shirts of mine. You really don't like them?"
"No, sir."
"Very well. You may dispose of them. Burn them, give them to the deserving poor, do with them as you wish."
"Thank you, sir. I have already taken the liberty of tearing them up to provide bandages for the wounded."

Needless to say, there's already a Wodehouse slashfic community on LJ, by the name of indeedsir. I may write the whole thing and post it. Or not. Yes, I think not.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: wormwood_pearl
2006-02-09 03:56 pm (UTC)

:D

I like!
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[User Picture]From: johnckirk
2006-02-09 05:20 pm (UTC)
That is truly inspired :) I really must get around to reading the original books sometime (so far I've only seen the TV series and your dramatic readings).

As for the comics, I'm not sure whether I've actually read any "X vs Predator" stories. I have read a couple of "X vs Aliens", specifically where X=Batman and X=Superman. I wrote an LJ entry about this a while back, but that was pre-tagging, so I can't find it easily. The main thing that struck me was their different attitudes, where Batman seemed to be a bit more sensible - he was saying "These creatures need to be culled", whereas Superman was saying "I won't kill them, because that would be wrong, but I have no moral problem with ripping their tails off, using that to beat them into unconsciousness, and then leaving them to bleed to death with zero probability of getting medical attention..."
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[User Picture]From: pozorvlak
2006-02-09 08:54 pm (UTC)
Nah, ripping the tail off an alien won't kill it. See here. I've read X vs Predator for X in {Aliens, Superman, Batman, Terminator} and possibly a couple of others - Judge Dredd springs to mind, but I might be thinking of Judgement on Gotham. I'm pretty certain that Judge Dredd vs Predator exists, anyway. Superman vs Predator was a bit dull - in order to make the contest interesting, they had to come up with some dubious reason to weaken Superman's powers down to Predator level. Batman vs Predator was a bit more interesting, as Batman's powers were already slightly below Predator level and he had to use intelligence and low cunning. But the plot still followed fairly predictable lines.

I've been watching my way through the Jeeves and Wooster TV series, and reading a few of the books in parallel - I'll blog about the differences and similarities some time. Both are pretty good, I think :-)
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[User Picture]From: johnckirk
2006-02-09 11:57 pm (UTC)
I stand corrected about the Aliens issue :) One of the recent DS9 novels had a thinly disguised "Jem Hadar vs xenomorph" battle in the holodeck (conclusively won by the Jem Hadar), which was quite entertaining. This page certainly implies that Dredd vs Predator exists, although I haven't seen it directly. I remember seeing "Judgment on Gotham" in the comic shop (Dredd vs Batman), although I never actually read it.

On the vague theme of crossovers, "Punisher vs Archie" is the one I want to read sometime, since I've heard it's far better than the premise implies :)

As for Jeeves and Wooster, I thought that the first two series were splendid, whereas 3 and 4 were a bit weak. I've heard other people suggest that this coincides with the time when they ran out of books to adapt, but I don't know the facts behind that. Some people have also suggested that the series would have worked better with a voice-over by Hugh Laurie (as Wooster), which is an interesting idea. Meanwhile, I've been instructed to watch "House", to see Hugh Laurie in a more recent role...
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[User Picture]From: pozorvlak
2006-02-10 10:34 am (UTC)
I'm watching Season 3 at the moment, and so far it's all recognizably from books - mostly Carry On, Jeeves, which is the one with (at least some of) the New York stories. I'd been so busy comparing them to the books that I hadn't thought to compare the series to each other, but you could be right. Voice-over: yes, I can see that. Bertie's narration is one of the great joys of the books.

Judge Dredd vs Aliens looks great :-).
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[User Picture]From: countess_rezia
2006-02-10 11:14 am (UTC)
of joy!
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[User Picture]From: pozorvlak
2006-02-10 11:33 am (UTC)
Thank you :-)

Actually, I may have to write the rest in pure self-defence: I've been getting new bits swirling around my head ever since posting this, which makes it rather hard to concentrate on anything else.
From the scraps of clothing, it looked like it had been the stable-lad. As for the body - well, have you ever seen what's left of a roast chicken after Tuppy Glossop's finished with it? Rather like that.
"This is a bit thick, Jeeves."
"Indeed, sir. Most disturbing."
"Or rather thin, given the way he's spread about the landscape like a pot of single cream."
"Quite so, sir."
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[User Picture]From: terpsichore1980
2006-02-10 07:50 pm (UTC)
LOL!
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[User Picture]From: livejournal
2014-05-05 11:00 am (UTC)

Interesting Links for 05-05-2014

User andrewducker referenced to your post from Interesting Links for 05-05-2014 saying: [...] ) Predator vs Jeeves [...]
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[User Picture]From: hairyears
2014-05-05 07:32 pm (UTC)
You are a bounder and a veritable multistorey car park of Wrong On So Many Levels.

...I came here from Twiter, via Cavalorn.

Did you write more of Jeeves and The Predator?

Edited at 2014-05-05 07:39 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: pozorvlak
2014-05-06 10:45 am (UTC)
Alas no - I really ought to! Glad you enjoyed what little there is :-)
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